Happy Cinco De Mayo…We’re Going to Mexico Hangin’ on by a Thread…

We looked at the account today and it’s low.  Very low.  Should- we- stay- or- should- we- go low.  These situations are getting a bit old. It’s draining.  We invested everything we had financially and emotionally into this last release and we’re almost drained. Good things have happened since the release.  We’ve gotten more national and worldwide media coverage than ever, more ‘fans’ coming to shows, we even played big ass theaters with iconic figures in heavy, experimental music.IMG_5194  AND PEOPLE DIG IT!  They really do.  We are even scheduled to play our first big ass outdoor festival this month in El Paso, TX (Neon Desert).

We’re trying to hold it together.  On one hand we feel like there is some great stuff in the works that will launch our careers to a point where we don’t have these situations anymore, but then there is the other side.  The doubting side. The side that tells us we’re foolish for continuing to do this.  The side that says dreams are for the foolish, and wanting to be ‘happy’ with your job is just silly talk.   IMG_5252

So here we are.  In a McDonald’s somewhere in El Paso, TX sharing a $1 coffee trying to decide if it’s worth it anymore.  Is it worth it to drive hours on end in the middle of nowhere, brave HORRIBLE if not frightening weather conditions just to play to handful of people who may or may not be into what we’re doing…?   We don’t know the answer.  It’s getting stressful waiting to see what the tipping point will be for us. We have just enough money to get us back to California or we can continue on our path and finish out these shows through Texas and the South and head back to play the festival.  It sounds easy to just say, “fuck it”.  But we’ve had our backs against the wall like this, multiple times before, and have successfully made our way out with guns ablazing.  So we KNOW we can do it.  We are just tired.  So tired.  So, so tired.  And we are fighting to stay positive.  But when do we know to stop?  Or do we?